Sunday, December 27, 2015

Hello (again).

It's been over a year since I've returned to this blog and my absence was much needed.

I can imagine for anyone with a blog, whether it garners the attention of millions or just a handful of those who care to click on your link, determining how much of your personal life to pour into it is a fine line many waver with, me included. 

You may think, "Who cares? No one cares that much about your life anyway."
Be that as it may, with the excess of social media platforms we cater to, it can get tricky remaining true to why you started a blog when you begin to get swept away by how many likes a post or photo attracts, or the comments/trolling that begin to flow. 

Before social media exploded.. before Instagram, SnapChat and anything after that even existed, I simply wanted a place I could go to where my special moments were documented and organized (my OCD-lite kicking in) with commentary that captures how I felt then. 

Starting a blog in your 20's can prove tricky, and I can say that as a 30-something year old now, because I cared far too much about:

1. What other people thought. 
Family. Friends. Acquaintances. C0-workers. Clients should they come across my blog. Students - seeing as how I'm in the education industry (which I kept strictly separate then).
What would they think?
Was it inappropriate?
Did it not align with what I was projecting given whichever hat I was wearing?

2. How much of my romantic relationships I should rave about.
As a serial dater in my 20's, I was in love with being in love. 
The high's were very high - and it was easy to post photos and tag them with 'forever's' but my gut asked me time and time again: okay but how long will this last and then what will you do with those posts?
Admittedly, posts have been edited and deleted to carve out times of my life I'd rather forget and that I carefully labeled "learning experience" and then tucked away. 
Having to do that, think about it, predict it, execute it, began to weigh on me.

3. 'Street fashion' became a burden.
I'll be honest with you- I do not look done-up, in great photo-worthy outfits with curled hair and a cute beanie every day. 
A few years back when #ootd and#ootn (outfit of the day/night) exploded, the expectation I had to show an outfit worthy of adulation was real and ridiculous. Even though intellectually, I knew it was silly, I still felt compelled to deliver. 
They say beauty is pain and I can attest if you do it for the wrong superficial reasons, it is indeed a sacrifice of your time (I now use those precious 1-1.5 hours to get a bit more sleep) and a sacrifice of your dinero

In the end, I seriously questioned my intent and did not like what I was seeing and it all felt forced at a certain point... I needed space. 

Over a year later, I'm back.
I don't know what I'm going to do with this blog. 
I don't have a defined brand/look anymore.
I do know that I am going back to my roots.

I simply want a place to curate my favorite moments with those I love and that which inspires me. 
I welcome anyone to join me.
I understand those who aren't interested.

But it does feel good to be back this time.